Waking up is like lucid dreaming, What do I mean by that? Well, you know lucid dreaming. That's when your dreamed character is wandering through a dream and then realizes, I'm actually in a dream. Well, waking up while you're awake is like that, Waking up while you're awake is like realizing, I've been wandering around in delusion. What is the nature of that

dreamy-like delusion? The delusion is that I am somehow separate from all of this. That I am somehow over here and that is over there and there's no connection. There's a boundary between this here and that over there and my person and your person. That's illusory. Everything we know from the deep spiritual traditions and from 21st century physics

everything we know says that's nonsense. There is no boundary between you and anything else and anybody else. And so waking up is like that realization that, I'm dreaming. When you wake up, there's a whole new set of capacities that are available to you, just like when the dream character realizes that he or she

is actually a dream character within a dream. When we wake up in this reality, all of a sudden we have a freedom and a peace that's unavailable to us when we think that we're separate from all of this. So wake up from the dream to the fundamental reality that we are, that we are all of this. We are not separate from the one being.

It's my belief that lurking beneath all of the major meditative practices is one objective. And that is to rest in that part of ourselves that has always been there. I think about it. There was a piece of you at your fourth birthday eating that chocolate cake or whatever you were doing on your fourth birthday that's still here, no matter how old you are.

because there's a continuity of experience throughout your life. Even though that four year old is radically different than who you are today. But there was that part of you that witnessed life through the lens of the four year old that is still here witnessing your life through the lens of however old you are now, through the lens of this being.

So no matter what kind of meditative practice you might be engaged in, underneath it, whether it's a stated intention of the practice or not, there is this hidden secret that really what we're tapping into, hopefully, is that eternal part of ourselves. So see if you can notice that next time you meditate.

Do you have too many arguments in your life? I would say most of us do. So I want to give you a quick little tip on how not to have arguments:

Don't say anything that is arguable.

How can you do that in a conversation with, let's say, your partner or your teenage son? How can you avoid saying things that are arguable? Two quick little tips.

• First of all, agree upon the facts in question. And if you can't agree upon the facts in question, then they may not be facts. They may just be your perception of the facts. So it requires a bit of humility. So when you're in a conversation with your partner, make sure you're talking about the same set of facts before you go any further.

• And then once you have a set of facts that you agree on, speak only about your experience. Speak only about your experience because your experience is inarguable. Don't draw conclusions about their experience or who they are or what's going on in their head.

  So two steps. Speak only agreed upon facts and share only your experience.

  You still get to be heard, but there’s nothing to argue about!